Journal Entry: Wed May 15, 2013, 9:04 PM
Thank you all so much for the support guys. It means to the world to me to know I got people like you all by my side to help me though everything
Anywho. My grandad went back to the clinic for the final steps to hopefully get cleared for the bypass. And great news guys. He did.
He's cleared and getting the procedure on Tuesday, and the surgeon is apparently amazing so I'm counting on him to get this all cleared up.
Also, the culture from the clinic came back today and thank God there is no cancer of any kind. I feel like this massive weight has been lifted from my chest, and again, thank you all for supporting my grandad and I.
Howdy guys, I think it's about time I let you in on what's going on.
So as some of you know, my grandfather was having problems.
Really, he developed fluid around his lungs which just knocked him from being 83 and still breaking quarter horses, to tired and just about bed ridden in 2 weeks. So we took him to a local radiologist last week to get a tap done and remove the fluid. And that didn't go well at all. Taps aren't suppose to hurt at all, just the quick poke from and sedative. But this guy put my grandfather through a lot of pain and only got about a tablespoon of fluid out from around his lungs. Luckily they got enough for testing and cultures, and so far that's all come back negative for infections, viruses, cancer and mesothelioma. So my mom took him to a clinic that specifically works on heart and lung matters.
And they got 2 freaking liters from around his lung, and that's not even all of it since some needs to stay to keep the lungs from getting too irritated. And he was terrified to get the tap done again, and my grandfather is not the one to get scared. And the scary thing is guys, my grandfather somehow bent his stint he had put in his shoulder 3 years ago and there's a clot in it. Like a very major clot that blood thinners won't get rid of. And I'm scared guys. And I'm mad. I'm starting to think the radiologist made a mistake and might have punctured my grandfather's lung. And perhaps whatever got poked, some cells or whatever got caught in the bend in his stint. I'm not sure, but I'm going to look into it more and do what I can for my grandpa.
So after going to the clinic in the city, my grandfather is home now and we're taking him back in a few days to hopefully get him cleared for a bypass with a pulmonologist in the next week (I won't be able to go due to my job). But I'm still scared guys. He was going okay today and got chest pains that almost completely rendered him from moving. So yeah, I'm terrified and it's taking it's toll on me.
I'm relapsing with some bad depression habit I haven't seen in almost a year and a half. I have insomnia and then I have problems waking up. I don't want to eat during the majority of the day, and then I binge eat. I'm getting moody and more irritable. And I'm getting panic attacks. I had one at school yesterday and with this all going on, I wouldn't be surprised if I got another. *shrugs* I don't know guys. Pray for him please.
Also, I only have 5 days of school left, which means finals. I've already taken my Econ final, Spanish II Final, I opted out of my Auto Final, so I have a Chemistry, English, and Trig final in the next few days that I need to get on the ball for. And seeing as my choice schools are institutes, the closer to a 4.0 the better. English will be easy and I'm not sure when the final is. Science will be fairly good, just got to memorize some more things, and that's this Friday and next Tuesday. Trig I'm getting help in that's my weak subject and my final is next week.
So all in all guys, I'm not going to be around much, more often than not until the 22, I'll be at my grandparents house, at work or studying Trig and Chemistry. I'll try to be on when I can, but don't expect to see me around too much. And please don't feel all sorry for me, (that'll only get me crying again |D) And Fi, Tek, Ty, Di, Tzu, Roam, please text/call me during this time, I need the moral support through this.
See you soon y'all~
Listening to: Tarzan
Reading: Secret Life of Bees
Watching: Doctor Who